The Proposal: (Ikutachi X Barbatos)
by Akasha1908
Summary: Barbatos finally proposes to his long-time lover, but Ikutachi's response takes him by surprise...
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

Barbatos walked towards Ikutachi's room. He'd told his Anima lover that he was playing poker with the guys, but instead he'd been planning a little surprise. They been up and down recently; fight after ridiculous fight. They were never mad long, and the part where they made up was always worth every second of their argument. But, not matter how amazing their sex was, there was one thing Barbatos knew for certain. He was ready for more.

His beautiful lover came into view; a book in his hand as usual. He was wearing a pair of reading glass and mumbling to himself as he thumbed through the pages. Barbatos smiled. He couldn't help it. It was a natural reaction. The kind you had when all the piece of your world suddenly come together perfectly.

"Evening beautiful."

Ikutachi looked up, clearly startled by his sudden appearance. His expression was one of surprise, but Barbatos could see the spark of love in the Anima's eyes.

"I thought you were out for the night." Ikutachi said, closing the book in his hand.

"Change of plans." Barbatos shrugged.

Ikutachi frowned; his suspicion obvious. "But it's poker night. You never miss poker night."

"True, but I have other plans this evening. There's something very important I need to do."

Ikutachi smiled slowly, walking slowly towards Barbatos. "Would this very important something have anything to do with me?"

Barbatos slid his arms around his lover, pulling him close. "Everything important in my life has to do with you, so I guess it's safe to say the answer is yes."

Ikutachi buried his face in Barbatos' shirt, inhaling deeply. Barbatos placed a kiss atop his head, his excitement and certainty growing by the second.

"I need to shower first." Ikutachi said, sliding his free hand into the opening between the buttons of Barbatos' shirt. "But you're welcome to join me if you'd like."

Barbatos took Ikutachi's hand out of his shirt, bringing it to his lips and placing a kiss on his knuckles.

"There will be time for that later," he replied, "but there's some place I want to take you first."

Ikutachi looked up at him; his lips forming the delicate pout that meant they should definitely have sex first.

"Trust me." Barbatos continued, brushing a thumb across his lover's full lips.

Barbatos led Ikutachi out to the gardens. The sun had set and the clear night sky was alight with brightly glowing stars. It was a bit chilly, but there was a gentle breeze that warmed the air. A table and two chairs had been set out underneath the moonlight. The table top was adorned with variety of tray covered foods, and an unopened bottle of Ikutachi's favorite wine.

"What's all this?" Ikutachi asked, instantly on guard.

"Just a little something I threw together. Do you remember this place?" Barbatos asked.

Ikutachi chewed his lip in thought, looking around the area as if it would jar a memory. "Should I?"

Barbatos chuckled softly. Of course the Anima wouldn't remember. "Let's not worry about the details right now." He said. "Why don't we sit down and eat. Maybe it'll come to you."

Dinner was a quiet event, the two of them eating in silence as they enjoyed the simplicity of each other's company. When you'd been with someone for a certain length of time, the pressure to fill every moment with conversation was no longer necessary. You just… know what the other is thinking.

"I remember now." Ikutachi said, dabbing his mouth with the napkin then reaching for his glass of wine.

"Do you?" Barbatos asked, placing his fork and knife onto his empty plate.

Ikutachi gave him a playfully irritated look, taking a small sip from his glass before continuing. "This is where we first met, isn't it? I was standing just over there," Ikutachi said, pointing just a few feet away from the table. "And you called out to me from right about where you're sitting now."

Barbatos smiled. "So you do remember."

"Of course," Ikutachi replied matter-of-factly. "It took me a minute, but only because it was so long ago."

"It wasn't that long ago." Barbatos defended.

Ikutachi snickered softly, taking another small sip of wine. "I'm confused though." he continued. "We met in the winter, so this can't be the anniversary of the day we met. And since we've only officially started dating recently, it can't be the anniversary of when we became a couple." Ikutachi pinned Barbatos with a suspicious frown. "So what exactly are we celebrating?"

"Do we have to have a reason to celebrate?" Barbatos replied, answering the question with a question.

"No, but we could've done all this in one of our rooms. There's no need to go such lengths with me, Barbatos. If this is some ridiculous attempt to woo the pants off of me, it was completely unnecessary."

Barbatos sighed. In his lover's mind, romance was nothing more than tool used to reach one's ultimate goal. In this case, sex.

"I'm well aware of that, my love, but every once in a while it's nice to do something like this. It helps keep our relationship fresh and new."

"I suppose." Ikutachi mumbled; a slow blush creeping into his cheeks.

"You suppose, huh?" Barbatos teased. "Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Yes."

"And you would like to do something like this again."

The blush in Ikutachi's grew, changing from rosy pink to a lovely shade of red. "Yes."

"Then mission accomplished." Barbatos got to his feet, walking around the table to help Ikutachi out of his chair. "Come, let's walk the gardens. I know it's one of your favorite things to do."

Ikutachi reached took Barbatos' hand, lacing his delicate fingers with the Phantom's large calloused ones. The Anima was trembling slightly; his nervousness a welcome sight. Ikutachi could be warm and kind-hearted when he wanted to be, but he had a reputation of being cold and unapproachable. His bluntness and cold logic could be a bit much for people. In fact, a few of the daemons in the mansion had taken to calling him the Ice Queen. It was a lucky thing that Barbatos knew better. Ikutachi was full of life and love; fire and passion. And to Barbatos' never-ending satisfaction, the Anima belonged to him.

"It's such a lovely evening." Ikutachi said, resting his head on Barbatos arm as they strolled one of the garden paths. "Autumn is in the air. The first frost will be here soon."

"How can you tell?" Barbatos asked.

"It's simple really." Ikutachi replied. "This world exists in cycle of life and death. My spirit is in tune with that cycle. I can feel its ebb and flow." He drew Barbatos over to a nearby patch of flowers, pulling him down to crouch with him. "You see this flower," Ikutachi asked, gently lifting an unopened blossom. "You might not recognize it now, but in a few weeks you will."

"It's a spider lily." Barbatos announced. "They grow all over the place."

"Wow," Ikutachi said with a proud smile. "I'm impressed."

Barbatos' heart stuttered through several beats, his eyes trying to sear the memory of Ikutachi's smile into his mind. He rarely saw the Anima show such an expression, and whenever he did, Barbatos made it a point to savor every blissful moment of it. There was nothing in this world he wouldn't do to see that smile every day. Nothing…

"This flower," Ikutachi continued, completely oblivious to Barbatos' reaction, "like any other living creature, can sense the change in season." He lifted the bud gently with his fingertips. "You might not be able to see it yet, but this lily has already started the process of blooming. It's just waiting for the perfect moment."

"And you can tell all that just by touching it?"

"It has nothing to do with touch." Ikutachi replied. "It's about energy. Even as we speak, the energy of this flower is growing. It is full of life that is waiting to burst forth." Ikutachi rose to his feet, pulling Barbatos up with him. "But you see that tree over there?"

Ikutachi slipped his arm around Barbatos' waist, pressing their bodies together. He pointed to a towering maple tree, and although Barbatos wanted to focus on the conversation, Ikutachi's delicious scent was making every one of his senses go haywire.

"That tree's energy is fading." Ikutachi continued. "With autumn fast approaching, its leaves will change to all manner of yellows and reds. Although the tree will fight to maintain its energy, the drop in temperature and loss of moisture will force it to yield. The leaves will fall as a result, and it will enter into a deep sleep."

"But it's a cycle, right?" Barbatos asked, placing a light kiss on Ikutachi's temple. "It will wake up once Spring returns."

"Exactly right," Ikutachi replied. "There are cycles with in cycles, but they are all a part of something much bigger."

"I love it when you talk like this." Barbatos said. "I feel like I get to see some hidden part of you that no one else gets to see."

Ikutachi immediately stiffened, pulling away from Barbatos and walking on ahead.

"What did I say?" Barbatos asked, jogging to catch up.

"Nothing."

"It's not nothing." Barbatos took Ikutachi's hand again, sighing with relief when the Anima didn't snatch it away. "I wish you would just talk to me," he continued. "I want to know what's going on in that pretty little head of yours, but I'm not a mind reader, you know?"

"Thank the Heavens for that small mercy." Ikutachi muttered.

"And why is that?" Barbatos asked. "Are your thoughts about me so terrible?"

"Of course not," Ikutachi insisted shyly. "In fact, you'd probably be disgustingly happy about my thoughts of you."

Barbatos stopped mid-stride, halting Ikutachi with him. The Anima looked back at him; his expression cool and collected minus the flush of color in his cheeks. That was the one sign of Ikutachi's love for Barbatos that he couldn't hide.

"There's something I want to ask you, Iku." Barbatos began; his heart racing with excitement and anticipation. "It's something I've wanted to ask you for a while now, but I couldn't seem to find the right time or place."

Ikutachi frowned. "Okay," he said slowly. "Should I be worried? I feel like I should be worried."

"No," Barbatos said reassuringly. "It's is a good thing; I promise. I planned this whole night just so I could ask you this."

Ikutachi took a step back, shaking his head. "I knew it! I knew you had some ulterior motive!"

"And that's a bad thing?"

"I don't know. I supposed it depends on what you're going to ask."

Barbatos laughed loudly. "You, my love, certainly know how to ruin a moment. Come here." He took Ikutachi's hand, pulling him into his arms. "You and I have been through a lot together; more than most couples go through in such a short time. We fight and argue, but no matter how many times we've tried to ruin this relationship, we always find our way back to one another."

"You're scaring me, Barbatos. What are you..."

Barbatos didn't give Ikutachi a chance to finish the question, claiming the Anima's mouth with his own. Ikutachi fought to push him away, but his efforts were half-hearted. He sank into Barbatos' embrace, sighing longingly as he wrapped his arms around Barbatos' neck. Only when Ikutachi was completely at ease did Barbatos break the kiss.

Ikutachi was breathing heavily; tiny clouds of steam forming with each burst of air from red-kissed lips. He clung to Barbatos, looking up at him with through a haze of lust and desire.

"I love you." Barbatos whispered, falling deeply into the Anima's beautiful amber eyes. "And I want to spend the rest of forever with you."

"I love you, too." Ikutachi replied breathlessly. "Now kiss me again."

He leaned forward, but Barbatos held him at bay. "Do you want to spend the rest of forever with me, Iku?"

"Yes." Ikutachi replied impatiently. "You know that, I've told you."

The Anima tried to kiss him again, but Barbatos stopped him once more. "Then marry me, Iku. Let's make our love official."

And just like that, all the passion between them evaporated; the fire in Ikutachi's smoldering gaze completely extinguished.

"No." Ikutachi said firmly.

"N-no?" Barbatos stuttered, stumbling back as if the Anima had physically struck. "But I thought… You just said… Why not?!"

"I-I just… can't. I-I'm sorry


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Ikutachi watched in muted horror as all the love and light in Barbatos' eyes faded to black. He expected the Phantom to start yelling; demand a better reason than, "I can't." Instead Barbatos just stood there staring at him. Seconds ticked by in agonizing silence. Ikutachi wanted to say something, but he couldn't think of anything that would make turning down his lover's proposal any better.

"I-I can explain." Ikutachi said, scrambling to get his thoughts in order.

"No," Barbatos said quickly, "I shouldn't have…" He stopped; his thoughts appearing to continue, but his words trailing off. "Why don't we go back inside? It's starting to get cold."

"But…"

"Its fine, Iku," Barbatos said, taking Ikutachi's hand in his. Come on, let's get inside."

Ikutachi let Barbatos walk him back to the mansion; the Phantom's large warm hand wrapped around his small cold one. Despite his lover's reassurance that everything was fine, Ikutachi could feel the sudden rift between them growing by the second. He desperately wanted to close the gap, but he didn't know where to begin.

The idea of marriage terrified Ikutachi. It was so permanent. So… forever. There were expectations that came with being a husband. Expectations that Ikutachi was nowhere near ready to fulfill. He was having a hard enough time dealing with this whole boyfriend thing, which, by the way, he sucked at. And if he couldn't figure out how to be a good boyfriend, then how in the world could he ever be a good husband?

The terrible truth was that Ikutachi was vain and arrogant. He had a pension for throwing things when he was angry, and always said the first thought that came to mind no matter how hurtful it was. More often than not, every argument he and Barbatos had was a result of something Ikutachi had either done or said. Whenever they made up, the Phantom would say that their constant fighting was a natural side-effect of having such a passionate relationship. Ikutachi, however, knew the truth. It was a sign that their love would not withstand the test of time.

It was one thing to _say_ you'll be together forever, but to actually _do_ it is an entirely different story. It was only a matter of time before Barbatos realized the depth of Ikutachi's shallowness. And when he did, Ikutachi would be replaced by someone who could return the Phantom's love properly. In all honesty, it was a wonder Barbatos hadn't done so already.

No, they could never get married. The day that Barbatos finally decided to leave for good, Ikutachi needed to make sure the Phantom could do so without anything holding him back or tying him down. Until then, Ikutachi would sustain himself on these borrowed moments; cherishing every second of this false forever with the Phantom.

Ikutachi clutched Barbatos' arm, clinging to him tightly. He searched for a way to put all that he was thinking into words. He wanted the Phantom to understand why he said no, but his selfishness wouldn't allow him. If there was a chance that they could have a bit more time together; if they could just delay the inevitable for a few more precious days, then perhaps losing the Phantom wouldn't hurt so much.

"Why are we going to my room?" Ikutachi asked softly.

They usually stayed the night in Barbatos' room since the Phantom's bed was larger. At that particular moment, Ikutachi was contemplating seduction as a way to buy himself some more time, but considering the amount of damage already done, he wasn't entirely sure it would work. If the Phantom insisted on sleeping separately, then all hope was lost.

"I'm, uh…tired." Barbatos replied. "I have a morning spar with Saizo, so I need get some rest."

"We can just sleep if you want." Ikutachi suggested, desperately trying to hide the hurt in his voice.

Barbatos laughed, but it didn't quite have the enthusiasm it normally did. "We never just sleep," he replied.

"We can tonight." Ikutachi promised quietly.

Several seconds passed before Barbatos answered. "Best to avoid temptation, don't you think?"

"I-if you say so."

Barbatos dropped Ikutachi off at his door, releasing his hand almost immediately. "I'll see you tomorrow." He said.

"Should we meet for lunch?" Ikutachi asked hopefully.

"I, uh… don't really know what my schedule is tomorrow. Why don't we play it by ear?"

Ikutachi nearly flinched at the veiled rejection. It was in that moment, he realized he wouldn't be seeing Barbatos tomorrow. As a matter of fact, it might be several days before he saw the Phantom again. Fear blossomed in his chest as reality settled on his shoulders.

"Alright," Ikutachi replied.

Barbatos leaned in for a kiss. Ikutachi tilted his head up, hoping to at least have some measure of the Phantom's passion to carry with him in the lonely days to come. Sadly, the fire never came; not even a flicker. Barbatos placed a light kiss on Ikutachi's forehead, bringing with it the frigid air of his cold shoulder. "Good night," he whispered.

"Good night," Ikutachi whispered back.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

Barbatos toweled off the sweat and blood from his body. He was in pain, but it was the kind of pain that made him see things more clearly. His heart and mind were at war with one another, and the physical exertion always helped him focus. Fighting was as natural as breathing for him, and while other daemons chose prayer or mediation to center themselves, Barbatos preferred brutality and violence…

"You alright?" Saizo asked.

"Yeah," Barbatos replied absently. "I'm fine."

"It was a good fight."

"Yeah."

I was definitely a good fight. Saizo had only just returned from his stint as a ranger, and from what Barbatos had heard, the training was intense. The Divina had come back with sharpened skills and a speed that had been difficult for him to match. Even still, Barbatos had bested him in the end.

"Okay," Saizo said, throwing his towel on the bench. "What the hell is going on with you? You show up at my room at the crack of dawn, drag me out of my lover's arms, beat the crap out of me, and now your pretending like I'm not even here! This is supposed to the part where you make fun of me for getting my ass kicked, then give me feedback on how to do better next time. Instead you're just sitting there, looking like some kind of… wounded animal."

"Watch it, Divina." Barbatos hissed.

Saizo sighed, grabbing two bottles of water from the cooler and handing one to Barbatos. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Nope."

"Are you sure? You look like you could use a friend right now."

Barbatos said nothing, hoping the Divina would drop it. He was wrong…

"Did something happen with Iku-san?"

Every muscle in Barbatos' body went rigid; his hand clenching around the bottle he was holding The plastic exploded, spraying them both with water.

"Okay," Saizo said, wiping the water off his face. "I'm going to take that as a yes. What are you two fighting about now?"

"It's nothing."

"Dude, that was not _nothing_. And if you want me to be honest, you're freaking me out right now. I've seen you and Iku-san fight before, but you've never looked like _this_."

"And what do I look like?" Barbatos asked wryly.

"You look like… it's over. I-is it?"

Barbatos licked his lips, running a hand down his face.

"Holy shit," Saizo breathed. "You two broke up?! Like, for real?!"

"We didn't break up." Barbatos snapped. "Not yet anyway."

"Holy shit!"

"Will you please stop?" Barbatos asked through clenched teeth.

"Sorry, it's just… Damn, I never thought I'd see the day you two called it quits. You guys are like… perfect for each other. I mean, you do fight like cats and dogs, but you both just kind of… I don't know… belong together. If you two can't make it work, then what hope do the rest of us have?"

Barbatos rubbed his tired eyes. He'd been up all night trying to figure out what his next move with Ikutachi would be. He still loved the willful Anima, but last night had changed everything. Suddenly, he was questioning their entire relationship. What were they doing? Where were they going? Ikutachi claimed to love him, even said he wanted to spend the rest of his existence with him. If all that was true, why wouldn't the Anima want to make it official?

"What happened?" Saizo asked carefully, trying to be as supportive as possible.

"I asked him to marry me." Barbatos answered reluctantly. "He said no."

Saizo blew out a low whistle. "Ouch…"

"Yeah, tell me about it." Barbatos mumbled.

Saizo frowned thoughtfully. "I'm not trying to be a dick or anything. If it was me, I'd be crushed, too. But if you take a minute to think about it, are you really that surprised? This _is_ Iku-san we're talking about."

Barbatos pinned the Divina with a vicious warning looking.

"Uh, sorry," Saizo replied, ruffling his hair. "That might've come out wrong. All's I'm saying is that… Iku-san isn't exactly… you know… the marrying type."

Barbatos snatched Saizo up by the shirt. "What the fuck are you implying, Divina?"

Ikutachi's past was no secret. The Anima had a history of promiscuity; changing lovers like some people changed shoes. Those who didn't understand Ikutachi always believed the worst: That he was some kind of high-priced whore. But that wasn't true. Not at all… Love was a concept Ikutachi had difficulty understanding. He viewed the complex emotion in its simplest form, so in his mind love essentially equaled sex.

But Barbatos had changed that. He'd somehow managed to burrow his way into Ikutachi's heart, unearthing emotions that the Anima was terrified of showing others. It had been nothing short of a challenge, but Barbatos had always believed that every second spent on their emotional roller-coaster was worth it. But now…

"Shit, I didn't mean it like that." Saizo said quickly. "This is coming out all wrong. What I meant to say is that… from what I've noticed about Iku-san... things like marriage and happily ever are probably… I don't know… _foreign_ to him? I mean, look how long it too you to get him to commit to an _actual_ relationship with you. If that scared him, image what a _proposal_ must have done!"

"I know my lover better than you." Barbatos hissed, releasing Saizo and shoving him away. "I knew _exactly_ the kind of reaction to expect from him and that was _not_ it. I thought he would hesitate; maybe say something like, 'I don't know,' or, "Let me think about it.' But there was none of that! He said _no_ like he was _absolutely_ sure. I asked the question and he _literally_ said 'no' in the same breath!"

Saizo straightened his shirt, eying Barbatos with a mixture of wariness and pity. "I'm sure there's a reason he said no, Barbatos. Iku-san loves you. Anyone can see that! Talk to him and see what's…"

"I can't." Barbatos said, cutting him off. "Not right now. I need… time."

"I understand." Saizo slapped Barbatos on shoulder. "Come on, let's get cleaned up and grab some breakfast. Later, we'll get the guys together and blow off some steam. You're probably just over-thinking this. A night on the town will do you some good. How 'bout it?"

"Why not," Barbatos replied with a heavy sigh. "I could definitely use a distraction."


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

Ikutachi sat in his favorite spot outside, absently thumbing the page of a book Tennyo had loaned him. He wasn't reading, but he was wearing his glasses in case he needed to give the illusion of being occupied.

In all actuality, Ikutachi was waiting for Barbatos. After a fight, Ikutachi always went to this same spot; an over-grown gazebo just on the edge of Master Akasha's property. It was his comfort zone, and there he found the peace and quiet needed to process his thoughts. It was also the first place Barbatos would look if and when he was ready to talk.

Ikutachi had been waiting in the same place, with his finger marking the same spot in his book for nearly the entire day. It was almost dinner, but he didn't have much of an appetite. In fact, he hadn't felt like eating since his dinner with Barbatos the evening before. He would have to go inside soon, but judging from the position of the sun, he had at least another hour before it set.

"So this is where you've been hiding."

The split-second flutter of anticipation instantly evaporated when Ikutachi realized the male voice belonged to Bunchu.

"I'm not in the mood for company." Ikutachi replied.

"Yes, but sadly, here I am."

The Divina entered the gazebo, setting down the tray in his hands on the table beside Ikutachi. He dragged a chair over and set it up so that the table sat between them.

"I brought this for you." Bunchu handed him a light blanket he'd thrown over his shoulder. "Mira said you'd been out here for a while, so I thought you might be chilly. And I brought some tea to warm you up as well."

Ikutachi hesitated a moment, then took the pale green blanket from the Divina's hand. It was soft and warm, and until that moment, he hadn't realized how cold he was.

"Thank you." Ikutachi said, unfolding it and placing it over his legs.

Bunchu prepared two cups of tea, handing Ikutachi the larger of the two. Ikutachi wrapped his hands around the cup, letting his hands soak in the heat from the glass. They sat in silence for a moment, sipping tea and staring off into the distance. It was pleasant, and although Ikutachi would've preferred to be alone, having the Divina there wasn't all that bad.

Ikutachi had met Bunchu through Barbatos. At first, he wasn't convinced their friendship would work, but the more time they spent together, the more he grew to like the Divina. In a sense, Bunchu was a kinder, gentler version of him. And knowing that there was someone out there like him, or, kind of like him, was somewhat comforting. Bunchu understood him in a way that very few could, and even Ikutachi knew that friendships such as theirs didn't come around very often.

"Barbatos asked me to marry him." Ikutachi said softly. "Last night."

Bunchu hadn't asked him what was wrong, but Ikutachi suddenly felt compelled to tell him. He'd been trying to keep Barbatos' proposal a secret, but he felt like he'd explode if he didn't tell someone.

"What did you say?" Bunchu asked casually; his gaze still taking in the scenery.

Ikutachi plucked at the blanket on his lap. "I said, no, of course."

"Of course," Bunchu repeated.

"Don't." Ikutachi said, glancing over at the Divina.

"I didn't say anything."

"Yes, but you want to, and I already know what you're going to say."

Bunchu opened his mouth to speak, but decided to shut it before any words came out. The silence between them stretched; Ikutachi waiting for Bunchu to talk, while the Divina stayed irritatingly quiet.

"Oh, just say it." Ikutachi muttered.

"There's no need." Bunchu replied matter-of-factly. "You already know what I'm going to say, so what's the point?"

"Stop being so..."

"Dramatic?" Bunchu asked snidely. "I suppose it's unnecessary since you're being dramatic enough for the both of us."

Ikutachi rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to the tea.

The Divina sighed heavily. "You're an idiot," he said firmly. "And because of your idiocy, there's a good chance you're going to lose the best thing that's ever happened to you."

"I think it's safe to say I've already lost him." Ikutachi replied dryly.

He was trying to sound like he didn't care either way, but it hurt too bad. Ikutachi could feel his heart breaking at the thought of losing the Phantom for good. He'd always known the day would come, but the _knowing_ didn't make it any easier.

"I doubt that." Bunchu said thoughtfully. "Barbatos isn't the type to turn tail and run. After everything you two have been through, this is relatively small in comparison."

Ikutachi scoffed. "You weren't there. You didn't see the look in his eyes. When I said no, something… changed between us. It was like he decided right, then and there that he didn't want me anymore."

Bunchu snorted. "That's ridiculous! And I should know. I've listened to him go on about you over enough pokers games to last me a lifetime. He's like a giggling school girl once he gets started. Trust me. He's absolutely, 100% crazy about you! And that kind of love doesn't have an off switch."

Ikutachi set his cup down, trying to wipe away his tears before the Divina noticed them.

"Are you crying?" Bunchu asked; his voice a mixture of sympathy and surprise.

"No," Ikutachi hissed, silently cursing his weakness. Of all the emotional reactions in the history of the world, crying was by far the most absurd!

"You _are_ crying." Bunchu said in awe. "Wow…"

"Are my tears that bloody interesting?!" Ikutachi snapped viciously.

"N-no, it's just… I didn't think you _could_ cry."

Bunchu was so genuinely shocked, Ikutachi couldn't help but laugh.

"I didn't mean it as an insult." Bunchu said quickly. "You're just so…"

"You don't have to explain." Ikutachi dried his tears, thankful the Divina had provided him a brief respite from his growing heartache.

Bunchu sat up in his chair, pinning Ikutachi with a look of confusion and concern. "I don't understand what's wrong here, Ikutachi. Barbatos loves you, and you _clearly_ love him. You have a chance to spend the rest of your life with a man who worships the ground you walk. Why would you throw that away?"

"You don't understand." Ikutachi replied helplessly.

"What's there to understand?"

"Everything!" Ikutachi exclaimed. "I'm doing this to protect him! Don't you see?! Something inside of me is… broken!"

"Don't say that! There's nothing wrong with you!"

"Really?! You didn't even think I was _capable_ of crying! If that doesn't scream BROKEN, then I don't know what does!"

"I shouldn't have said that." Bunchu said apologetically. "It was cruel and insensitive and..."

"No. It was the truth; the sad, pitiful truth. Barbatos might be the best thing that's ever happened to me, but I am most certainly the _worst_ that's ever happened to him. He is full of life and love, and every day he spends with me, it fades. I'm like some kind of parasite, mercilessly feeding off of him. It's only a matter of time before there's nothing left and he's as empty as I am."

"That's not true! Barbatos is the happiest when he's with you! A blind man can see that!"

"But you don't see all of it!" Ikutachi insisted. "We fight all the time! There are days when I think to myself that it's miracle we haven't killed each other yet! One minute I'm making him happy, and the next I'm making him completely miserable!"

"But you two always manage to work it out, right? That alone speaks to the strength of your relationship."

Ikutachi scoffed. "You want to know my definition of working it out? I fuck him until he's too tired to care about whatever it was I did to piss him off! It's the _only_ way I know how to prove to him that I'm sorry. How pathetic is that?! He gives me flowers and heartfelt apologies. What do I give him in return; cosplaying blow jobs!"

Bunchu shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Sorry," Ikutachi groaned. "That was too much information."

"It's okay," Bunchu replied. "I've heard worse. Still, I don't see how any of this proves that you're somehow unworthy of his affections. Barbatos is verbal about his feelings and you're physical about yours. There's nothing wrong with that. Too much of one or the other would sour the relationship. You have a good balance; one that I'm _sure_ the Phantom appreciates greatly."

"He appreciates it _now_, but what about in ten years? All I can give him is sex. One day that's not going to be enough. One day he's going want more and I won't be able to give it to him!"

"You're basing all this on a theory, Ikutachi. You have no idea what's going to happen a decade from now! You two could be happily married with a kid by then!"

Ikutachi would have laughed, but the thought of having a child with the Phantom made a small part of him ache longingly.

"Please," Ikutachi replied, trying to hide his reaction. "I'm the last person someone would want to marry, let alone have a child with."

"Barbatos wants to marry you."

Ikutachi went rigid in his seat, hating the Divina for circling back to that one blaring detail.

_"__Barbatos wants to marry me…" _

Ikutachi's relationship with the Phantom was destined to end. It was the one inevitably that was clear in his mind. And even though Ikutachi had turned down the proposal to ensure Barbatos ended up with the right person, one fact still remained. For a brief moment, Barbatos had believed Ikutachi was the right person …

"The only one stopping you from taking the next step with Barbatos is you." Bunchu took Ikutachi's hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly. "You've created this unrealistic idea of what his partner _should_ be, instead of considering what he _actually_ wants. I don't know about you, but Barbatos doesn't strike me as a daemon who would waste his time on a relationship that he didn't want to be in. He's with you because he loves you. And he _stays_ because he believes that what you two have is forever."

Ikutachi shook his head; his vision blurred by his tears once more. "I can't let him marry me, Bunchu. I'm not the best for him, and if I'm not the best then…" Ikutachi took a deep breath, willing himself to go on. "If he gives me a ring and offers me eternity, I will _never_ be able to let him go. Marriage will tie him to me forever. I can't do that him. Not if there's a chance he can be happier with someone else."

"Get up." Bunchu said, standing to his feet and snatching the blanket off of Ikutachi.

"What? Why?!"

"Because I can't stand to hear this foolishness anymore! We're going to find Barbatos and see what he thinks about all this. If I can't convince of his love, then I guarantee you, he will!"

"NO!" Ikutachi shrieked as Bunchu hauled him out of his chair and dragged him toward the mansion.

"If you don't pick up your feet and walk, so help me God, Ikutachi, I will throw you over my shoulder!"

Ikutachi struggled to get out of the Divina's hold, but it was no use.

"Damn you for being so bloody strong!" Ikutachi cursed through clenched teeth.

Bunchu dragged him into the mansion. Not wanting to make a scene, Ikutachi reluctantly complied. All while praying that Barbatos was nowhere to be found. They turned the corner towards the daemon common area, both of them coming to a halt when the Phantom came into view. To Ikutachi's horror, Barbatos stood in the middle of the corridor, locked in the embrace of another daemon!

"Is that…Kudan?" Bunchu asked; his voice filled with the horror Ikutachi felt.

Just when Ikutachi thought it couldn't get any worse, Kudan pressed his lips to Barbatos' half open mouth. The sight of it sent Ikutachi's world spinning violently. He clung to Bunchu's arm, fighting to stay on his feet. The smallest whimper escaped his lips as he buried his face into the Divina's shirt.

"Get me out of here." Ikutachi begged.

Bunchu held him tightly, practically picking him up and carrying him back around the corner before Barbatos or Kudan could see them. The Divina was mumbling something along the lines of,_ I'm so sorry_, but Ikutachi was too distraught to listen.

This was what he wanted. This is what he knew would happen eventually. But what Ikutachi didn't expect, was for all of it to happen so fast! He felt sick; his stomach turning violently. With no food in his belly, he ended up crumpling to the floor and dry heaving. Bunchu rubbed his back, whispering words of comfort. But there, in that moment, none could be found. Ikutachi curled into a ball, allowing Bunchu to rock as if he were a child.

After a few minutes, Bunchu lifted him off the floor, carrying him back to his room. The Divina offered to sit with him, but all Ikutachi wanted was to be alone.

"I wish you'd let me stay." Bunchu said in a pained voice. "You shouldn't be by yourself right now."

Ikutachi smiled sadly. "I was alone before this. Before Barbatos. It's not so different now as it was then."

"You're lying."

"I know." Ikutachi replied; voice trembling with the sheer agony of it all. "But let's pretend that I'm not, okay?"

Bunchu nodded, turning to leave. The Divina must have hesitated a hundred times before he finally left the room.

Ikutachi slowly counted to ten; a cheap trick he used to try and calm himself during times of crisis. But the closer he got to ten, the more he could feel himself unraveling. He knew that when he finally finished counting, every single wall he'd built to protect himself from this exact moment would come crashing down. He would be completely defenseless, and the one small part of him that wasn't broken would be irrevocably shattered.

_Ten…_


	5. Chapter 5, 6 & 7

**CHAPTER 5**

His devastating charm had struck again! That was the first thought that ran through Barbatos' mind as he extracted himself from Kudan's embrace.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Barbatos said, successfully removing the daemon's arms from around his neck. "You're drunk and I have a boyfriend. Now you asked me for a place to crash until you sobered up. But if this was some ploy to get into my bed, then I can tell you right now it's not going to happen."

"Oh, come on, Barbatos. Don't act like you don't want to." Kudan slid his hand down to cup Barbatos cock, frowning when he found the Phantom unaroused.

"Like I said," Barbatos replied, removing Kudan's hand from his crouch. "Not interested."

Kudan smirked. "And here I thought you and the Anima broke up. If I'd have known this would be such a waste, I'd have turned my attentions elsewhere."

"Who told you we broke up?"

"Saizo, duh," Kudan replied dryly. "He was the one who arranged this little get-together. When I asked him what the occasion was, he informed me that you and Snake Boy had broken up. Apparently, you needed to get your mind off things, and considering your _colorful_ past, I assumed you'd be looking for a… distraction."

"I'm afraid you've been misinformed. My lover and I are still very much together."

"Happily?" Kudan asked. When Barbatos stiffened, a knowing smile formed on the Phantom's face. "Didn't think so," he continued with a wink. "Listen, I'm not trying to be your boyfriend. What I'm offering has no strings attached. Just you, me, and whatever that dirty little mind of yours can think of."

"O-kay, so on that note, I'm going to say good night."

Barbatos tried to leave, but Kudan grabbed his hand. "He's the one. You know that, right?"

"Who?"

"Ikutachi," Kudan replied; his eyes glowing brilliant red. "Your love is unfaltering; steady as a rock and as constant as the setting sun. But his love for you surpasses all. There has never been a being in this world who has loved anyone as much as he loves you. You do not see it, and you likely never will, but if you don't go to him this night, he will be lost to you forever."

Kudan's eyes faded, an almost imperceptible shiver running through his body. The Phantom turned to walk back into the game room, but Barbatos stopped him.

"Wait, you can't saying something like that then leave! What does it mean? Is something bad going to happen to him?!"

"I told you everything you need to know. Most people would thank me for giving them that much."

"But…"

"I can't tell you what to do, Barbatos." Kudan replied solemnly, cutting him off. "I can only tell you what's going to happen if you don't make a decision right now. You think you're walking some kind of line. That you're on the cusp of some life-changing decision: Will you stay or will you go? But you already know the answer to that question. You know what you want, and you proved it to yourself and to me just now. You will stay with Ikutachi no matter how many times he hurts you, but every second you waste wallowing in your self-pity, the further and further he drifts away."

"How did you…?"

"_How_ I know, is irrelevant. _What_ I know, is not. And what I know is that when you chose Ikutachi, you chose all the heartache and happiness that came with him. If you leave this… _wound_ open, it will fester. And come the morning, the love you've work so hard to grow and nurture will die."

**CHAPTER 6**

Kudan entered the game room, leaving the dumbstruck Barbatos to stew in his thoughts. He rubbed his temples, hoping to delay the blinding headache descending upon him. Kudan never offered divinations so impulsively, but when he'd sensed Barbatos' emotional agony; experienced the sheer anguish of his heart's pain, Kudan couldn't help but intervene.

His abilities often left his spirit open to the emotions of others. Kudan had learned to control it, even block them out. But sometimes… sometimes there were feelings so strong, so… all-consuming, that they forced their way past his barriers.

Kudan never meant to pry into Barbatos' personal life, but the Phantom had unwittingly reached out to him, begging for help he didn't realize he needed. Kudan had offered that help, forfeiting his life for the sake of another's happiness.

"You alright, Kuda-kun?" Sasuke asked, walking over to where he stood.

"I'm fine," Kudan replied, trying to sound upbeat and failing miserably. "But I think I'm going to head home. I'm not feeling well."

"I thought Barbatos was going to let you crash in his room." Kuroda said, reaching behind the bar, and grabbing a beer from one of the coolers.

"He was," Kudan replied quietly, "but I changed my mind at the last minute."

"You sure you want to go?" Saizo asked. "Glacie's coming back in a few minutes. He ran to get some more ice for the bar, but it'll be open again soon. You should stay and have at least one more drink with us."

"I really don't…"

"Come on," Motochika interjected. "The night is still young! One drink won't hurt! Besides, Master Nina won't be back for at least another hour or so. If you're worried about getting in trouble, I'll walk back to the mansion with you."

"It's not that, I just…"

"At least play one game," Odairi suggested, setting up the balls on the pool table. "Yukimura's on the way since Barbatos left early. I think he's bringing Maeda with him, too."

"I-I'd love to, but…"

"Cut it out, guys," Sasuke said, halting everyone's arguments. "If Kudan isn't feeling well then he needs to go home and get some rest."

Kudan threw Sasuke a grateful look, and then said a quick goodbye to everyone in the room. As he made his way home in cool evening air, he reflected on the good that he had done. With any luck, Barbatos would reconcile with Ikutachi, and all would be right in their world once more. It gave him a sense of accomplishment knowing that he'd helped two people find peace and happiness; even if he knew he would never find those things for himself…

**CHAPTER 7**

Barbatos raced up the stairs to his lover's room, afraid of what he might find when he got there. Kudan had said that if he didn't get to him tonight, then the Anima would be lost to him forever. What did that mean?! If the past was any indicator, then there was a chance Barbatos would find Ikutachi…

Barbatos pushed the morbid thoughts from his mind, running full speed down the hall towards his lover's room. As he approached, the Divina, Bunchu, came into view. By the looks of it, he was coming back from Ikutachi's room.

"Bunchu, thank, God!" Barbatos said breathlessly. "Is Iku in his room? Is he okay?"

His questions were met with a right hook to the jaw.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Bunchu roared.

The Divina reared back to hit him again, but Barbatos blocked it. He spun the Divina around, slamming him face first into the wall.

"What the fuck was that for?!"

"Like you don't know!" Bunchu shouted.

"No, I don't, which is why I'm asking!" Barbatos fought to keep Bunchu pinned, but the Divina's strength was starting to prove too much.

"I'm talking about you! You and your _new_ lover! Tell me, Phantom, how long did you wait before you climbed into someone else's bed?! Was it spur of the moment, or have you been sleeping with Kudan this whole time?!"

Barbatos released him. "You saw," he said in a hushed voice; not needing an answer.

"_We_ saw," Bunchu hissed, "me _and_ Ikutachi. Jesus fucking Christ, Barbatos, you didn't even have the decency to break up with him first! Do you have any idea what this has done to him?! I can't believe I actually defended you!"

"It's not what you think! You know me, Bunchu! You know I'd never do anything to hurt Iku!"

"Do I? Because suddenly I feel like I don't know who you are! I saw it with my own eyes, Barbatos. I saw you kiss him!"

"_He_ kissed _me_! I didn't want him to, I swear! He said he was drunk and wanted a place to lie down for a while. I was leaving, so I said he could crash with me until he felt better. I didn't know he was gonna make a pass at me!"

"Are you kidding me?! That was a classic invitation. Please tell me you're not that stupid!"

"Look, I fucked up. I get it! But I honestly didn't know he was coming on to me! It was a misunderstanding, that's all. Saizo told him Iku and I broke up, he took a shot, and I turned him down! End of story!"

Bunchu bit his lip in indecision. "I don't know what to believe." He said furiously. "And after what just happened, I'm not sure if I should let you near him again!"

"What's happened?" Barbatos exclaimed, grabbing Bunchu by the shoulders and shaking him. "Is he alright?!"

Bunchu shoved Barbatos away. "Of course he's not alright! I literally had to pick him up off the floor and carry him to his room! He's so distraught, I don't even think he knows _what_ or _how_ to feel! He was already saying crazy things before this, but now..."

"I need to talk to him." Barbatos said, pushing past the Divina.

Bunchu pulled him back, leveling Barbatos with a look of pure malice. "If you hurt him anymore than you already have, so help me God…" The Divina took a deep breath, clearly trying to calm himself. "He is all kinds of broken right now. More so than I could ever imagined. If you do anything… and I mean ANYTHING to hurt him, I will kill you!

Barbatos snatched his arm out of Bunchu's grasp, pinning him with a suspicious look. "Is there something you want to tell me, Divina? Do you have feelings for Iku or something?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Bunchu scoffed indignantly. "Ikutachi is like a brother to me! In case you haven't noticed, he doesn't have many friends. Someone has to look out for him, and until today I thought that was you! He needs a partner he can rely. Someone who won't run away when love and life get too complicated! Now I know how he is, Barbatos. And I know he can't be an easy man to love. But _you_ chose this when you chose _him_! Either you get your shit together and commit yourself to fixing this, or you turn your sorry ass around and go back to Kudan!"

Barbatos stiffened at the rebuke. In that moment, he realized he'd handled the entire situation all wrong. Deep down he'd known Ikutachi was going to say no to their marriage. He'd known the Anima wasn't ready, but he'd let his own emotions guide his actions anyway. He'd forgotten that their love wasn't about what _he_ wanted, but about what _they_ needed.

Barbatos _needed_ to be with Ikutachi, but the Anima _needed_ more time: Time to explore his love for the Phantom, and time to figure out who he was with Barbatos. The Anima had spent so much of his existence alone; drifting from partner to partner, that it was no surprise the concept of a "relationship" was still foreign.

What was it like to discover love for the first time? How terrifying must it be to realize that you're no longer a _me_, but a _we_? Love came so naturally to Barbatos. He loved the Anima and leapt at every chance to express its depths. But what about a daemon like Ikutachi? One who'd never experience love outside of sex? Relationships were hard enough for the average human or daemon, but what if you had nothing to base all of your new and evolving feelings on?

The answers to those questions shook Barbatos to the core. If Ikutachi felt even a fraction of what Barbatos was imagining in that moment, then it was no wonder the Anima turned his proposal down. And instead of responding to Ikutachi's refusal with love and determination, Barbatos had given his lover fear and uncertainty.

Bunchu was right, and so was Kudan. Barbatos had made the decision to be with Ikutachi, and he'd known exactly what a future with the Anima would entail. It would be difficult to the point of madness, and there would be days like yesterday when he wanted to give it all up. But none of that changed the truth. He was in love with Ikutachi. And he wanted to spend the rest of his life proving it.

Barbatos met the Divina's stern gaze with his own. "Thank you for being with him when I couldn't. For that, you have my eternal gratitude. But with that said, I'll take it from here."


	6. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

The decision between life and death comes down to one of two choices: Your freedom or someone else's happiness. If Ikutachi chose death, then he could free himself from the pain that tied him to corporeal world. But in taking of his own life, he could inadvertently destroy the lives of all those he loved.

Once upon a time, Ikutachi made this choice, albeit unwilling at first. In a moment of emotional and mental anguish, he'd allowed the very life force sustaining him to drain from his body. Although terrifying at first, he'd found blissful silence in the darkness; a calm that wrapped around his spirit like a shield. There he'd stayed, floating in a void whilst the whole of his spirit merged with the life and energy of nature's holistic dominion.

But in the silence, Ikutachi heard a voice; one full of longing and despair. It begged him to return, piercing his shield like a well-aimed spear. The voice had belonged Barbatos; his words shattering the darkness and flooding Ikutachi's heart with its beautiful light. The Phantom had given Ikutachi a reason to live again, and with his lover's help and the help of one feisty succubus, Ikutachi returned to world of the living.

Yet here he was again; gripped by the same unbearable heartache. And although he wasn't surprised to find himself in this situation once more, he was disappointed to discover that pain was even worse the second time around. How did humans deal with this phenomenon called 'heartbreak'? How could they walk and talk as if everything were normal, when all around them their world was falling apart?

It was an agony beyond words, bringing Ikutachi to the choice once more—Life or Death? He wanted Barbatos to be happy, but no one said he had to stick around and watch. He could leave; ask Master Akasha to sell him to another agent. But it wouldn't take away his pain. There would come a time when their paths crossed again. Ikutachi couldn't risk it. He would never survive the encounter.

So he made the choice; the only one that would guarantee the Phantom's happiness and Ikutachi's sanity. He would release his spirit to the earth once, joining the endless cycle of life and death forever.

Ikutachi slowly removed his clothing; his movements choreographed as he floated about the room. His mind was a tempest of emotions all shrouded in a haze of utter despair. He reached for his white robe lying across the bed. As he slipped it on, a whisper of Barbatos' scent pricked his senses.

That was all it took… His knees buckled at the memory of his lover's touch; the sound of his deep baritone voice and throaty laugh whispering in his ear. Ikutachi clutched the bed post, desperately trying to catch his breath. The memories had knocked the wind out of him, just as surely as he'd been struck in the stomach. He stumbled over to the window, splaying his hands across the cool glass. He felt like he was suffocating. Like all the air had been sucked out of the room.

He was moving before he could think; the need to get outside all-consuming. He knew exactly where he would spend his final moments, and it wouldn't be trapped inside four walls. He would give his spirit back to the earth in the one place that had always given him peace.

The cold air hit him the second he burst into the night. Ikutachi welcomed it, letting the icy breeze cool his flushed skin. He ran to the gazebo, stumbling several times on the ends of his robe. When he crossed the threshold of the small vine-covered shelter, he came to an abrupt halt exactly in the center. He dropped to his knees, falling forward on all fours as he fought to catch his breath.

Ikutachi stayed there for several minutes, letting his racing heart calm its frantic beating. When he'd regained some semblance of composure, he pulled himself up using the arm of a chair. The frigid air burned his lungs, but it was exactly what he needed to refocus his mind.

He edged toward the far side of the gazebo, holding onto the wooden frame as he took in the view one last time. He inhaled deeply, drawing in the sweet scent of the flowers and trees. He hoped to join them soon and take solace in their eternal company.

"Jesus, Iku, it's freezing out here!"

Ikutachi spun around at the sound of Barbatos' voice; his eyes growing wide with shock and confusion. The Phantom rushed forward, yanking off his coat so he could wrap it around Ikutachi.

"No, don't," Ikutachi said quickly, holding up his hands to stop the Phantom. "Wh-what are you doing here? I thought you were…" His words trailed off as the image of Barbatos and Kudan flashed in his mind.

"Damn it, Iku!" Barbatos begged. "I can see you shivering from here! Let me get you inside and then we can talk."

"There's nothing to talk about." Ikutachi replied, trying to keep his teeth from chattering. Unfortunately, the cold was seeping into his bones, making it impossible.

"There is a great deal to talk about, my love. Now come here and let me warm you. You'll freeze with only that robe on!"

"I don't want your warmth. I want you to leave. Go back to… to your new lover."

"I don't have a new lover!" Barbatos insisted. "And I don't want one either! What happened with Kudan was a misunderstanding, that's all. I can explain everything, but I'd prefer to do it in the warmth of our room."

"This has nothing to do with Kudan." Ikutachi said, cursing silently when the first of his tears started to warm his cheeks. "This needed to end anyway. Better it happen now than later."

"What are you talking about?" Barbatos asked helplessly, taking a cautious step towards Ikutachi. "What needs to end?"

"This. You and me." Ikutachi took a step back, keeping the distance between them the same. "Our relationship has gone on long enough. I should have ended it sooner, but I… I couldn't."

"Nothing is going to end." Barbatos cooed, inching ever closer. "Now please, Iku, let's go inside."

"I'm not going anywhere with you." Ikutachi replied, mustering the last of his courage. "This is where my path ends, Barbatos. And once I'm gone, you'll be free. Now leave. I don't want you to see this. Not again."

"I'm not leaving," Barbatos said carefully, "and can assure that I don't want to be _free_. All I want is you in my arms. Whatever this is about, I'm sure it will make more sense over a cup of tea. What do think?"

"No." Ikutachi said firmly. "I need to do this. You've given me so much and I've given you nothing in return. If I can't love you properly, then the least I can do is free you so that someone else can."

Barbatos reared back in surprised. "Is that was this is about? You're going to kill yourself because you think you're not good enough for me?!"

"It's more complicated than that." Ikutachi retorted.

"So complicated that you have to die?"

"Yes."

Barbatos ran a hand down his mouth; his wide-eyed gaze becoming panicked. "Iku, this is crazy! I love you! You know that! I asked you to marry for Christ's sake! You're the one I want to spend the rest my life with! Do you think I would ask you to be my husband if I wasn't sure you were the one?!"

Ikutachi was losing control of the situation. If Barbatos didn't leave soon, he'd never be able to go through with his plan.

"Y-you need to leave, Barbatos. I've made my decision. You might not understand now, but you will. I promise."

"I will never understand!" Barbatos roared. "After all we've been through, you would do this me?! What if I hadn't come looking for you? What if I was ten minutes too late? You would let me find you..." Barbatos choked on the last word, taking several seconds to regain his self-control. "Why would you do this to me again?" He asked in a pained whispered.

"I'm doing this _to_ you. I'm doing this _for_ you. Barbatos, I don't deserve your love. I never have and I never will. I've tried so hard to be the companion you need, but all I've ever done is hurt you."

"That's not true!"

"It is and you know it. I see the way you look at me. You tell me you love me, and even though I say the words right back, I can see in your eyes that you want more. It's like you're waiting for me to say or do something that you know will never come. And every time I disappoint you, the light in your eyes fades just a little bit more. I give you my body as compensation, but even I know it's not enough."

Speechless, Barbatos reached out to take him in his arms, but Ikutachi pulled away.

"One day you would've woken up and realized I was never the _one_." Ikutachi continued. "You would've look at me and realized that you wasted all your precious love on someone so underserving. I can't let that happen. I will not steal what's left of the light in your eyes."

Barbatos blew out an unsteady breath; his obvious pain only eclipsed by his shock. "How long have you felt like this?"

"I don't know." Ikutachi replied honestly. "But think I've always known how this was going to end."

His response nearly brought Barbatos to his knees. The Phantom staggered to the nearest chair, gripping it tightly for support. "I knew there was something standing between us, but this…? Why didn't you tell me how you felt? If I'd have known you were suffering, I would have… Oh, God, I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize. None of this is your fault. I'm the one to blame."

Barbatos shook his head, wiping away the tears now falling from his eyes. "Did you _ever_ believe in our relationship, Iku? Even for a second?"

Ikutachi opened his mouth to speak, but chose to stay silent instead. Barbatos might've asked the question, but Ikutachi was positive the Phantom did not want to hear the answer.

"At least tell me you believed in me. In my love!"

"Of course," Ikutachi exclaimed.

"And were you happy?"

"Happier than I ever thought I could be."

"But you still want go? You still want to leave me?"

"I have to."

"You _have_ to? Or you _want_ to?"

Ikutachi shook his head, hating how the Phantom was twisting his words. Barbatos was hurt and angry; shock and panicked. He didn't know what or how to feel. This was the reason Ikutachi wanted to take his life without his lover knowing.

"This isn't your choice."

"Then it should be!" Barbatos cried. "You can't expect me to stand here and watch you die again! There has to be another way!"

"I'm sorry." Ikutachi whispered weakly, shaking his head.

"What exactly are you sorry for?" The Phantom asked, snapping in anger. "For leaving me? Or for not giving me a chance to prove to you that this _can_ work?"

"This is exactly my point, Barbatos. It's not _you_ who should be proving anything. You're faultless in all this, yet you're the one begging _me_ for another chance. If I stay, it will always be like this. I'll keep hurting you even when I'm trying not to!"

Barbatos fell to his knees in front of him, pulling Ikutachi into his arms. "I don't care! I'm not ashamed to beg! And I'm not afraid of being hurt! Just tell me how to fix this and I'll do it!"

"If you want to fix this," Ikutachi said in a hushed voice. "Then you need to let me go."

Barbatos cried out from the depths of his soul; the sound reminiscent of an animal in the final throws of death. The Phantom tightened his embrace, weeping softly as Ikutachi gently brushed his hair. When the Phantom calmed, Ikutachi knelt on the ground in front of him. He cupped Barbatos' face and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

This was their last moment together and Ikutachi wanted Barbatos to know the magnitude of his love. His decision to die was so much more than the Phantom would ever know. Ikutachi had experienced _true_ love with Barbatos, and if he couldn't return the gift to his beloved Phantom, then he needed to make sure someone else did. If there was ever a daemon in the world who deserved to know such love, it was Barbatos…

"I love you," Ikutachi whispered, brushing Barbatos' lips with his own. "So much so that my heart aches when we're apart. There are mornings when I wake up and I'm afraid this was just a dream, but then I see your sleeping face and all is right in my world once more. Those are the days I want to spend the rest of my life in your arms; tucked away in our bed and hidden from all the world's distractions."

"We can go there now." Barbatos pleaded. "If you promise to stay, I swear I'll spend every moment of forever in bed with you."

"You can't do that, and neither can I."

"Why are you doing this?" Barbatos asked in a broken whisper. "I thought you said you loved me!"

"I do." Ikutachi breathed, pressing his lips to Barbatos' tear-stained cheek. "My love for you is this living, breathing entity. It exists outside the boundaries of life and death. It is fleeting, yet utterly fathomless; it is perfect, yet somehow irrevocably broken. When I look in your eyes, I see my love, I see my happiness, and I see the man I want to become. I see the end of a journey I never knew I was on, and I find the peace and understanding I didn't know I needed. You are my rock; my foundation. Without you I am completely lost. You took me out of my world of black and white, and showed me one full of endless colors. Because of you, I can leave this world without regret. I finally know what love is, Barbatos. It's you."

Barbatos turned his head toward the sky, weeping with such openness and unabashed shame that for a moment Ikutachi wished he could stay.

"Listen to me," Ikutachi demanded, forcing the Phantom to look at him. "You are going to find someone so wonderful and amazing that the love you share will outshine the sun! You will know what it is like to be loved entirely: Physically, Emotionally, Mentally and Spirituality. And when you experience that moment of _true_ happiness, you will finally understand the meaning of my sacrifice."

Barbatos pulled Ikutachi back into his arms, squeezing him so tightly he could barely breathe. "I won't let you leave! Do you hear me? I won't allow it! If you insist on going, then I'll go with you!"

"What?! No!"

"I can, and I will." Barbatos said; a look of raw determination in his eyes. "I go where you go. My life is tied to yours, which means my death is as well. If I have to follow you into the darkness to prove that, then so be it."

"Y-you don't know what you're saying!"

"I know exactly what I'm saying! I'm going to die right here, right now. I will take my last breath in your arms, and then _you_ will see the truth of _my_ love!"

Barbatos released Ikutachi, unsheathing the dagger from his belt. Without a moment's hesitation, the Phantom thrust the knife straight towards his own heart. It was a miracle Ikutachi stopped him in time. The tip of the blade had already pierced his flesh at the moment Ikutachi snatched it from his hand.

"Damn it, you're bleeding!" Ikutachi shrieked, yanking off the cravat from around Barbatos' neck to stem the blood.

"Why did you stop me?" Barbatos asked, snatching Ikutachi's hand away. "Why is okay for you to die, but not me?"

"Because I… I don't want you to die."

"I don't want you to die either!" Barbatos exclaimed, shaking Ikutachi. "Do you understand now?! The way you feel about me, is exactly the way I feel about you. You're not alone in this! You never have been and you never will. We are soul mates, Iku; destined to be together in life _and_ in death. It's up to you where you want to spend eternity, but whatever you choose; I will be by your side."

Ikutachi couldn't explain it, but Phantom's declaration, morbid as it was, filled his heart to the brim. A weight he hadn't realized he was carrying seemed to lift from his shoulders, leaving in its place the tiniest sliver of… hope.

"I have no choice now." Ikutachi mumbled. "I have to live if it means keeping you alive."

Barbatos breathed a shaky sigh of relief. "I'm glad you realized that _before_ I stabbed myself in the heart!"

Ikutachi couldn't help but laugh. Barbatos was ready to kill himself without a second thought. Of all the endings to their love story, that was one Ikutachi never expected.

"You're bleeding all over the place." Ikutachi said, applying pressure to Barbatos' wound once more. "I need to get you inside and see if the cut needs stitches."

Ikutachi was making a concerted effort not to look at the Phantom. He was ashamed and embarrassed; not sure what to say after such an intense, life-altering moment. He may have chosen life to save Barbatos, but it didn't take away the fear and uncertainty toiling in his heart.

"We're going to be okay." Barbatos said, placing his hand over the one Ikutachi was using to stop the bleeding. "I know this doesn't change the way you feel about us and this relationship, but now that I know what's going on in that beautiful brain of yours, I am determined to work this."

Ikutachi bit his lip to stop it from trembling.

"Iku, look at me." Barbatos lifted Ikutachi's chin, forcing him to meet his gaze. "You have to have faith in me and this relationship. But, if you find yourself in short supply, then hold onto my faith instead. I have more than enough for the both of us."

Ikutachi gave a tearful laugh. "Why do have to be so perfect?"

"I'm only perfect for you." Barbatos replied with a half-smile. He leaned down, stopping a hair's breath away from Ikutachi's lips. "Is it alright to kiss you?"

"You don't have to ask." Ikutachi muttered shyly.

"I don't know?" Barbatos frowned. "I feel like maybe we should… take our time? I don't want to rush you, especially if…"

Ikutachi kissed his lover, moaning sweetly when the Phantom slipped his tongue inside his mouth. It was passionate, but in a quiet sort of way. And when it was finished it left Ikutachi with a warm glowing sensation. He rested his forehead on Barbatos shoulder, shivering in his arms.

"Damn it," Barbatos hissed. "I completely forgot how cold it is out here!" He grabbed his discarded coat, wrapping it tightly around Ikutachi. "Let's get inside and get you warmed up. I'm thinking a nice hot bath is in order."

"Agreed," Ikutachi replied softly, allowing Barbatos to help him up and escort him back to the mansion. "But only if you join me."

"I think that can be arranged. But be prepared for what comes after."

"And what would that be?"

"We almost died tonight." Barbatos replied, tightening his hold around Ikutachi. "Hell, I'm still bleeding over here! I've never been so terrified in my life. All I could think about was never seeing your beautiful face again." He sighed heavily; his relief clear. "Let's just say I'm happy we're alive and still together. I don't know about you, but I can't think of a better way to celebrate life than by fucking you senseless."

"Barbatos!" Ikutachi exclaimed indignantly, smacking the Phantom's chest with the back of his hand. "Could you be any more vulgar?"

"Actually, I can." The Phantom replied with dark amusement. "And the moment I get you settled, I'm gonna bury myself so deep in that tight little hole of yours you'll be begging for…"

"Enough!" Ikutachi squeaked. "What happened to taking it slow?"

"That kiss of yours changed my mind." Barbatos said, winking down at him.

Ikutachi elbowed him playfully. "I'm starting to regret my decision."

"No you're not." Barbatos said scooping Ikutachi into his arms and carrying him the rest of the way. "You love me. I heard the confession with my own ears! And before the night is over, I will hear it again. You mark my words, Anima."


	7. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

"Hold still!" Ikutachi ordered.

Ikutachi straddled Barbatos' waist, threading the needle in his hand while the Phantom lay on his back staring up at him. Every time Ikutachi was about to get the thread through the needle's tiny hole, Barbatos would thrust his hips up and send Ikutachi hurdling forward into his arms.

"Alright, I'll stay still." Barbatos chuckled, tucking his hands behind his head.

Ikutachi resumed the process, smiling when he was close. But the precise moment the thread entered the hole, Barbatos reared his hips up once more.

"Damn you!" Ikutachi hissed, jabbing the needle into Barbatos' bare shoulder.

"Ouch! What the hell, Iku?"

"Move again and it'll be your eye next time!"

"Fine! Geez, as if I haven't bled enough today!"

"Oh, stop whining. It's your own fault, so I don't want to hear it."

Barbatos grumbled inaudibly, leaving Ikutachi to thread the needle without interruption. Once he got it, Ikutachi peeled back the temporary bandage he'd paced on Barbatos' injury shortly before they'd gotten into the bath. The bleeding had slowed, but it was still oozing steadily from the wound.

"I'm thinking three stitches should be enough." Ikutachi said.

Ikutachi placed the needle between his lips then set about cleaning the wound once more for good measure. When he was satisfied, he dried it with a clean cloth and sterilized the needle. As he leaned forward to begin his work, Ikutachi realized that Barbatos was unusually quiet. His eyes flickered up to Phantom who was quietly admiring him through hooded eyes.

"What?" Ikutachi asked, suddenly uneasy.

"Nothing," Barbatos answered lazily. "I'm just watching. I like watching you."

Ikutachi frowned. Barbatos added the last part with a slow, deliberate smile. The kind of smile that meant he had something in mind, but he wasn't ready to speak his intentions aloud. Ikutachi had been with the Phantom long enough to know that such a smile could be good or bad, but it was almost always bad…

"Whatever you're thinking, the answer is no." Ikutachi said firmly, positioning the needle for the first stitch.

"I didn't even…. Ow!" Barbatos yelped. "A little warning next time!"

"I thought you said you were watching." Ikutachi replied smugly. "Obviously, not close enough."

"Careful, Anima," Barbatos warned. "I've been holding back until now, but if this is a game you want to play, then I'm happy to oblige."

Ikutachi shifted uneasily on Barbatos' lap, regretting the action almost immediately. Barbatos was rock hard; his bulging length poking the inside of Ikutachi's thigh. The realization of the Phantom's unexpected arousal sent a flood of color to Ikutachi's cheeks; his reaction eliciting a husky laugh from Barbatos.

Ikutachi cleared his throat, trying his best to ignore the massive cock lying between his legs. "If you're done complaining, I'd like to continue."

Barbatos took several seconds to respond, staring at Ikutachi for an uncomfortably long time. When he finally responded, his voice was rough and low; full of dark longing that both terrified and excited Ikutachi.

"Please, continue." Barbatos replied, adjusting his hips ever so slightly. The small movement caused the Phantom's length to stab Ikutachi in the thigh once more.

Ikutachi swallowed, leaning forward cautiously. For a moment, he thought the Phantom would roll him over and have his way with him, but to Ikutachi's surprise Barbatos remained completely still.

Ikutachi finished the first stitch, then the second and finally the third. He tied off the thread, clipping the rest with a pair of tiny scissors from the night stand. He inspected his work, nodding once when he was done.

"You're getting better at this." Barbatos replied, bending his head so he could examine the work as well.

"I should be an expert considering the amount of times I've had to patch you up after battle. Let me wipe the excess blood and re-bandage it."

Ikutachi did just that, dabbing a bit of ointment on the stitched flesh before taping the bandage down.

"There," Ikutachi announced, "all done."

"Thank you," Barbatos said, sitting up and giving Ikutachi a quick peck on the lips.

The Phantom lifted Ikutachi off his lap, setting him gingerly on mattress before standing up to stretch.

"What are you doing?" Ikutachi asked, miffed by Barbatos' sudden coldness.

"I'm making sure I can move without tearing my stitches. There's only three, but better safe than sorry. I don't want to bleed on you during the night."

"Oh." Ikutachi said dejectedly; his lips settling into a tiny pout. "So we're going to bed?"

Barbatos laughed loudly. "No, my love. There will be no sleeping tonight."

Ikutachi perked up instantly, sitting up on his knees and giving Barbatos his most seductive, "come hither" look. He was ready for his lover; anxious to put the night's traumatic events behind them. He'd finally confessed, in words, his love for Barbatos. A feat until a couple of hours ago, Ikutachi believed impossible. All it took was a second, almost near death experience to loosen his tongue. And, now that his true feelings were out in the open, Ikutachi was ready to express them in the one way he knew best.

He was clean from head toe; Barbatos had made sure of that during their bath. The Phantom had washed every inch of Ikutachi's body, paying special attention to certain areas as he went. He was soft and warm and ready to accept his lover's embrace.

As it were, Ikutachi wore nothing but one of Barbatos' button-up shirts. It practically swallowed him whole; the wide collar falling off his slender shoulder. The Phantom had always enjoyed seeing Ikutachi in his clothing, and this time was no different. He could feel the excitement radiating off of Barbatos, and it filled Ikutachi with feverish anticipation.

With the Phantom's eyes fixed on him, Ikutachi undid each button with painfully slow movements. The Phantom bit his bottom lip; his heavy length tenting the front of his low-hanging sleep pants.

"Come here." Ikutachi cooed, pulling open the shirt and giving the Phantom of clear view of his naked form.

Barbatos groaned involuntarily, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. He stood perfectly still, but every muscle in his body was poised to move. He was fighting for control, but Ikutachi couldn't understand why. He was offering himself completely to the Phantom, yet the daemon was hesitating.

"Why are you still over there?" Ikutachi asked, crawling to the edge of the bed and reaching out for his lover. "Don't you want to touch me?"

The Phantom ran a hand down his mouth, wiping away the tiny sliver of blood. He started to move, but instead of taking Ikutachi's outstretched hand; he walked over to his desk and dragged the chair over to the foot of the bed

Ikutachi watched quietly, wondering what Barbatos had in mind. The chair in question was one he and the Phantom used frequently. Ikutachi particularly enjoyed it since it put Barbatos' cock at just the right angle and at just the right depth during sex. Ikutachi had lost count how many times he'd climaxed in that chair, and just the thought of the pleasure to come was enough to make him light-headed.

Ikutachi scooted to the edge of the bed, ready to climb atop Barbatos who'd taken a seat in the chair. But before his feet hit the floor, the Phantom stopped him.

"Stay there." Barbatos commanded.

Ikutachi froze, making no attempt to hide his confusion. He watched again in silence as Barbatos settled himself in the chair, loosening the strap of his pants and pulling out his pulsing rod. Ikutachi whimpered softly; the sight alone making his heart race and toes curl. He gave Barbatos a pleading look, immediately regretting his earlier behavior. He should've known better that to provoke the demon…

"You want this?" Barbatos asked teasingly, stroking his cock in silent invitation.

Ikutachi nodded quickly; too aroused to play coy. His cock was hard as well; proof of his desire leaking from the silky pink tip.

"I want to hear you say it. Say you want it."

Ikutachi licked his lips, suddenly afraid to speak for fear of what he might say. He was desperate; his body vibrating with the force of his need. If he opened his mouth, he'd likely end up begging shamelessly.

"I-I want it." Ikutachi replied breathlessly

Barbatos smiled triumphantly, increasing the speed of his stroke as he watched Ikutachi will lust-filled eyes. Ikutachi licked his lips again, imagining what the Phantom would taste like. He'd swallowed his lover's cum countless times, but at that precise moment, he couldn't recall its delectable flavor.

"You want a taste?" Barbatos asked, reading Ikutachi's mind.

Ikutachi's heart skittered through several beats; his breathing becoming more and more erratic by the second. He pictured the Phantom's cock deep in his mouth. Strong hands holding his head in place as the tip hit the back of his throat…

"Say it!"

"Y—" Ikutachi meant to say "yes," but the word came out in a strangled gasp. He couldn't take much more of the demon's torture. At this rate, he would cum before they even started.

Barbatos looked as impatient as Ikutachi felt; every gorgeous muscle in his body strained with effort to remain seated. It was obvious the Phantom wanted to take him, so what the hell was he waiting for?!

"Grab the pillows and stack them close to the end here." Barbatos commanded.

The tone of the Phantom's voice was unfamiliar. Somehow deeper… more savage. Under normal circumstance, Ikutachi would've bypassed this ridiculous game. He would have them finished with their first orgasm and well on the way to the second. But something in Barbatos' eyes gave him pause. This was no longer a game…

"That's it." Barbatos hummed, sitting up in his chair.

Ikutachi could feel the Phantom's eye on him. He could tell his lover was enjoying the view from his seat. He had a clear shot of Ikutachi's back side, and based on the heavy breathing going on behind him, Barbatos was close to his orgasm.

"Lay down and open your legs," Barbatos whispered hoarsely. "I want to see you properly."

Ikutachi did as he was told, propping himself up on the pillows so that he faced his lover; legs wide and cheeks flushed.

"I'm going to watch you to cum." Barbatos said, leaning back in his seat. "I'm going to watch and you're going to watch me. I want you to look into my eyes, Iku. I want you to see my love and my desire for you. Then there will be no question of where my heart lies."

Barbatos stared at him with such intensity that for the first time in the course of their relationship, Ikutachi was… embarrassed.

Sex was as natural as breathing for Ikutachi. It was second nature; an intrinsically beautiful part of life that he partook in often and with great enthusiasm. With the right partner, the pleasures were endless. And for Ikutachi, that "right" partner was Barbatos. They had no limits. No boundaries. Together they explored each other's fantasies, feeding off a need so insatiable that it consumed them both.

But in that moment. Laid bare before his lover's heated gaze. Ikutachi felt nervous and shy. He started to protest, but the Phantom never gave him the chance. Barbatos' eye flashed in warning as if silently saying, "Submit, or I'll make you."

Ikutachi wet the tips of his four fingers then rubbed the entrance of his tight pink hole. Barbatos shivered in his seat; his hand tightening around the base of his cock to keep from cumming. His brow furrowed in concentration, tiny beads of sweat rolling down his tense neck.

When Ikutachi's realization dawned, it brought with it an explosion of lust. Just the sight of him touching himself was enough to bring Barbatos to the edge of climax. And no matter how demanding or forceful Barbatos was being, it was Ikutachi who was truly in control.

The thought spurred Ikutachi on, restoring his shattered confidence. If his Phantom wanted a show then he would give him one to remember…

Ikutachi made sure to keep his eyes locked with his lover's hungry gaze. He slid one finger into his puckered entrance, letting his head loll back in silent ecstasy the deeper he went. Barbatos made a sound somewhere between a whimper and a growl, and although Ikutachi couldn't see his reaction, he had a feeling the expression was a mixture of sheer agony and pure, unbridled euphoria.

Ikutachi lifted his head, meeting Barbatos' burning gaze once more. There he saw love and longing; pain and raw need. The Phantom was fighting to keep his orgasm at bay, but Ikutachi was determined to see it explode. He wanted to see the Phantom's cum, thick and hot, spray from his cock and drip down his heaving chest.

Ikutachi slid in a second finger, taking hold of his length and stroking it in a slow steady rhythm. He was vocal with his pleasure, making sure Barbatos knew exactly how much he was enjoying it. He let his moans hang in the air as if they were an unspoken challenge for Barbatos to do better.

"Add another finger." Barbatos ordered in a strangled voice. "Let's see how many you can take."

Ikutachi would have laughed if he wasn't so dangerously close to climax himself. Whenever Barbatos prepared his body, they never made it to the third finger. The Phantom was always so impatient. Always so desperate to be inside of him. Ikutachi still couldn't believe the amount of restraint Barbatos was currently showing.

Ikutachi did as he was told, sliding in a third finger. He gasped softly, using all three fingers to rub the secret spot that lay deep within his hot, wet depths. It felt so good… Ikutachi's head fell back against the pillow; his eyes nearly rolling to the back of his skull.

"Look at me!" Barbatos shouted.

Ikutachi's head snapped up; his eyes locking with Barbatos' eyes just before the Phantom cried out in ecstasy. It was everything Ikutachi imagined it would be….

Barbatos arched in the chair; his head thrown back as his scream echoed through the room. Ikutachi watched in muted fascination, reveling in the Phantom's every convulsion. The sight of it pulled Ikutachi closer and closer to his own climax, and, in the end, it was the sight of Barbatos' cum dripping from the tip of his chin that sent Ikutachi over the edge.

If Ikutachi had enjoyed watching Barbatos cum, then there was no question the Phantom would enjoy watching him. He shouted Barbatos' name; the sound tearing from his throat at the peak of his climax. His orgasm seemed blissfully endless; wave after wave crashing into him until the whole of his world shattered into a trillion tiny pieces.

Ikutachi lay panting on the stack of pillows; his mind reeling from the force of his orgasm. He wanted to look up at Barbatos; see his lover's handsome satisfied face, but his head and neck simply wouldn't cooperate.

When the first kiss touched Ikutachi's skin, a wave of joy and utter happiness flooded his system. And when Barbatos' handsome face came into view just inches above his own, Ikutachi lifted up a trembling hand to cup his cheek.

"Did you enjoy my performance?" Ikutachi asked; his voice barely above a whisper.

"I did." Barbatos replied, feathering kisses across Ikutachi's brow and cheeks. "I wanted to touch you so bad. I kept imaging it was my fingers pleasuring you. And when you said my name…"

The Phantom groaned, sliding into Ikutachi's body without warning. Ikutachi moaned sweetly, loving the way Barbatos seemed to fill his every corner. As every considerate lover should, the Phantom gave Ikutachi a moment to let his body adjust to the unexpected invasion, but as patient as Barbatos was, even he couldn't wait forever.

It was slow and gentle at first. Like the gradual blossom of a flower in the Spring. But even as their passion grew, Ikutachi felt no pain. His pleasure always came before Barbatos' need, so when his second orgasm washed over him, Ikutachi wasn't surprised when the Phantom started working on the third immediately after.

They changed positions with flawless precision, their bodies moving in perfect unison as if locked in some erotic dance. Barbatos never missed a stroke, giving Ikutachi orgasm after orgasm in endless succession. At one point, Ikutachi thought it would never end. There was even a moment he believed he would die after all; drowned in sea of the Phantom's voracious desire.

"Say you love me," Barbatos whispered in Ikutachi's ear. "Let me hear you say it one more time."

"I love you."

Ikutachi repeated the words in between Barbatos' deepening strokes; muttering all manner of sweet confessions as the Phantom labored to reach his own climax. When it finally came, Barbatos buried himself to the hilt, cumming with such force that Ikutachi felt in depths of his core.

They lay silent for several minutes; huddled together as if the other were the very source of life. They were descending from the high of their love, using each other as a guide back to the safety of their corporal forms.

"Are you okay?" Barbatos asked, lifting himself up and nuzzling Ikutachi's nose with his.

"Mhmm." Ikutachi replied, pulling Barbatos back to the bed beside him and curling into his side. "Hold me."

Ikutachi was met with Phantom's throaty chuckle; familiar and soothing. It was the last thing he remembered before the sweet release of sleep took him.

~END~


End file.
